PICK YOUR CHAOS LEVEL.

You get charged the moment you subscribe (congratulations, you just chose chaos 🎉). After that, you receive an email containing your invoice to renew monthly. Your wallet will learn to expect it. Think of it as a little monthly adrenaline spike — like espresso for your bank account. So, check that email because if you miss it, you can't come crying to me later Linda. 

We're not gonna hold you hostage (that's illegal and also a lot of effort). You can cancel anytime, just don't pay the invoice! No guilt trips, no weird retention flows, no "are you SURE?" popups seven times. Just click, confirm, and go in peace. You'll still have access until your billing period ends. We'll miss you, but we'll cope. Probably with more coffee and we may or may not talk about you behind your back.  🤪 

YES. Actual real-life mail. In an envelope. Delivered by a human to your mailbox. Revolutionary, we know. 📬 Depending on your tier, you might get stickers, art prints, enamel pins, mystery items, handwritten notes, and enough chaotic energy to make your mail carrier concerned. We ship within the US (international coming soon — patience, global goblins). Items are curated monthly and always exclusive to subscribers.

ABSOLUTELY YES. Each tier includes everything from the tiers below it. So, if you go full Caffeinated Goblin VIP ($55), you get literally everything — digital downloads, physical mail, enamel pins, the VIP box, creator access, the cool Discord role, the whole unhinged enchilada. Think of it like a coffee order: each size up gives you everything the smaller one had, plus extra shots of chaos. ☕☕☕